Who is a  boyfriend?

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a boyfriend is a man that someone is having a romantic or sexual relationship with. Correct me if I’m wrong but no one or book has defined it as your parent or legal guardian except you have been adopted by your boyfriend or you are having a kinky relationship with your dad in that case this article doesn’t address you (you should seek professional help by the way); a boyfriend is supposed to be a friend, lover, companion, confidant, etc. He is your partner in the relationship and you should respect each other but that doesn’t make him the lord of your life neither does that make him your parent.

After my grammar and composition class yesterday, I was studying with a friend whom had just lost her mother, the burial was to take place the following weekend. She had invited several of our course mates and friends and also arranged transportation to carry us to the venue of the burial which was in Umuahia. During our study she asked if she could make a call with my phone for a minute, I gave my consent and she dialed a number; I could hear clearly her side of the conversation. She was asking the person on the line for permission, she said “please can you give Lee Ann permission to come for my mother’s burial, I promise she would be safe and she would definitely return the same day’’ the person must have given his/her consent because she thanked the person.

I asked her if that was maybe Lee Ann’s guardian or parents, she said no and that it was Leann boyfriend. Now I was confused because I didn’t see why her boyfriend had to give her permission to go for a friend’s event. I agree that Umuahia is far from our school and she had to let someone know she was going on such a journey , so they would be aware of her location but why her boyfriend, he doesn’t have that authority in my opinion.

I kept mute because I didn’t want it to seem like I was talking behind her, she (Leann) came into the class after an hour or so; she asked my friend if she had called her boyfriend and my friend said yes, and that he gave his permission. Immediately I asked her “did you tell your parents you are attending this burial at Umuahia’’ she said no, and I asked ‘’what about your siblings or a relation’’ she shook her head saying ” no”. I asked her why she sought permission from her boyfriend instead of a relation and she said ‘’hmmm you don’t know Dave oh, if I don’t tell him he’d think I am up to no good. So let me avoid his problem and ask.’’  My head still couldn’t understand what was going on, so I further asked ‘’why can’t you tell him yourself, another person has to do that for you?’’ and she replied scornfully ‘’ he doesn’t trust me but that one is his business, if I told him myself he would think I was lying; it’s better he hears from the horse’s mouth and besides he is going to be paying for the expenses na’’

I understood where she was coming from but I don’t think because you are financially dependent on your boyfriend(which shouldn’t be the case in a healthy relationship), you should make him the lord of your life. I don’t know why they have trust issues in their relationship(that is not my business). He is not yet your husband, don’t be giving him husband’s right; your parents still have authority over you. So assuming Leann’s boyfriend had said no that means she wouldn’t be attending the burial, right? It is okay to let the person know about certain things, that shows respect and builds trust but please do not put up the slave attitude, he is your lover not your lord.

Some girls do not respect their parents the way they respect their boyfriends which is very foolish, and some men would be forming lord and master because they help out. And if you watch carefully you would notice that their parents provide more than their boyfriends do. You should ask yourself does he ask my permission before he travels? So why are you asking his permission? So he can do whatever he likes but becomes a monitoring spirit in your life. why do ladies give men the authority over them in situations like this? I want to know, please enlighten me.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the issue, so we could learn from each other. Happy weekend
Image by :@illustration315