Happy Wednesday olives and welcome to another episode of Single Woman Palaver, today’s episode would focus on the single woman and her standards. By standard I mean something that falls within a person’s accepted range, this means that standardization is based on a personal choice; what might be considered standard for Miss A may not be applicable for Miss B, since everyone has diverse tastes and wants.
The truth is everyone has a standard, especially when it comes to relationships. Everyone has a way of accessing people, this helps them decide if they are compatible with that person. it’s like having an internal list which one ticks against. What might be on Miss A’s list might not be on Miss B’s list. To Miss A he must be tall, handsome, rich and caring; to Miss B he must be light skinned, courageous, and short, like I stated earlier it is a personal thing.
Taking the issue of a person’s standard beyond the physical measurements, there is a deeper yardstick which is character evaluation. In my opinion character evaluation is the most important criteria anyone should have. I’d give an example, if you date someone because they are light skinned, tall, have well defined cheek bones and a beautiful facial structure, what would happen when you notice that the person is either nasty, loud, stingy or a snub?
People have to understand that it is a person’s character that makes them compatible not their physical attributes, so whatever list you’ve made should be based on character. Now that I have clearly defined the above I’d move on to your standards and compromise.
So you’ve set a standard for yourself regarding dating but you meet someone you felt instant attracted to, but they don’t meet your standards, the question is what do you do? Do you compromise your standards for that person or do you stand your ground?
To effectively answer the above questions, you’d have to ask yourself the following questions:
1. How realistic are my standards? Some people seek perfection and it’s not possible, you want your partner to be “nice but not too nice”, you want them to be “skinny but not too skinny”. You have to understand that these are humans with emotions, who react based on feelings, intuitions, and experiences. You can’t control them and expect they be whoever you want; you want them cold in the morning and hot in the afternoon, you want them to like sex but not too much, how is this possible? Your standard has to be in tuned with reality.
2. Can you meet up with your standards? You want someone who is trustworthy, kind, loving and playful, the real question is are you kind, trustworthy and playful? Can you meet your own standards or you want to attract what you lack. Always ask yourself “Can I date myself?” Is it possible to meet the requirements of my requirements?
If you’ve answered these question and honestly you passed them, then I insist you don’t compromise on your standard. When you compromise you wouldn’t be happy with the result, if you date him because he’s rich but you know he’s a bully, you’d be unhappy with your choice. So stick to your standards and you’d find happiness, you are not being proud or uptight, you are going for what you want and if you don’t want a drunk no one should talk you into accepting one.
This is where I would stop for now, if you have any palaver concerning today’s episode, you can comment or send me an email and I’d surely reply, until next time Olives, love you, XoXo.