Its six days to the last month of 2016 and I feel absolutely excited about this because this is the right time to tie every loosed ends in preparation for a new year; this is especially the time to let go of that toxic friendship that has hindered your growth.
A lot of people have become tangled in messy and uncomfortable situations and they keep sinking deeper all in an attempt to save a friendship that has only brought them doom. This article is going to help you find some solid grounds, a strong footing and the encouragement to walk away.
Firstly I’d give some pointers as to why you might not have what is considered a healthy friendship because a lot of people are not aware that what they have is toxic and then I’d give some advice on how to move on from a toxic friendship.
IS MY FRIENDSHIP WITH HIM/HER TOXIC?
This is the first question you should ask yourself before you decide cutting all ties with someone you consider a friend.
A toxic friendship is one that contaminates your positive aura thereby causing deterioration or leading to the eventual breakdown of your positivity. Your positive vibe or energy is very important and shouldn’t be tampered with by anything or anyone; so if you notice something or someone messing with your good vibe, they should be terminated immediately. Below are a few pointers to consider:
- THEY DISTORT YOUR PEACE OF MIND.
If you ever notice that whenever they are around, you become extremely nervous or anxious for unknown reasons.
- YOU TRY TOO HARD TO PLEASE THEM.
You suddenly begin to walk on egg shells around them; you are supposed to be free being that they are your friends but the reverse is the case.
- SAYING NO CAUSES A FIGHT.
Even our parents tell us no and we are cool with it, so why does saying no to your friend builds tension around your friendship? If him/her takes the answer no as a fight, doesn’t respect your decision and tries to manipulate you into saying yes, there is a big problem here.
- YOU FIND YOURSELF COMPLAINING TO EVERYONE.
This is usually as a result of lack of communication, because he/she isn’t listening to you, you begin to share your problems with others whom you think are listening. This is like a cry for help but it’s the wrong approach because you victimize yourself via this process, you are also talking behind them which isn’t right.
- YOU MAKE THEM YOUR FRENEMY.
This is the boiling point of the situation, because you can’t get out and you feel stuck, you get bitter and end up being two-faced; you have to put up an act for them but behind their backs you bad mouth them. You unconsciously make them your frenemies and that is bad.
I’ve clearly stated above how being in a toxic relationship could mess with our goodness, next week Monday I’m going to write some advice on how to get out of this kind of friendships. I’d love to hear your opinion about this issue; if you’ve ever been in a similar situation before and would love to share your experience and lessons, you can email me with firstname.lastname@example.org .
XoXo, Olivia Sose.